When Birth Breaks You – My Healing Journey Through Birth Trauma

By Janean Doherty
Trigger Warning: Birth Trauma

Beautiful.

Sacred.

Natural.

Transcendent.

Golden Hour.

Perfect.

These are all words that would come to my mind when someone would bring up childbirth.  During all my years as an OB nurse, I participated in probably close to one thousand births.  I saw the good, the bad, and the ugly, and spent a lot of time dreaming about my future birth, much like we do as girls when we dream about our wedding day.  I had a picture in my mind of how my births would go, and so once it was finally my time to have my first child, I held on tightly to that picture and did not want to let it go.  I was excited more than nervous for my birth, despite it being the beginning of c*d, because I had spent so much time and effort preparing my body, mind, and soul for this experience.

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Josie’s Traumatic Birth

However, after 48 hours of labor, very slow progression, no sleep for days, and 4 hours of pushing all without an epidural, I was feeling frustrated with my body, like it was failing me.  In a last ditch effort to avoid a cesarean birth, I got an epidural, pushed really well for an hour, but still was unable to bring my baby’s head down past a zero station.  Her head was asynclitic (head down but sideways) and stuck.  But I was adamant about wanting a vaginal delivery.  So, since my baby’s heart rate was still good, I asked my doctor to try a vacuum.  I got a pudendal nerve block and a bolus of anesthesia in my epidural, which are both measures to prevent me from feeling any pain.  From there, he attempted a Malmstrom vacuum extraction, which is an old powerful vacuum (most vacuums used by OBs are kiwis.  However, there was a fluke complication with the vacuum and it tore me inside, which I felt, despite all the medication on board.  So, after all of that, they rolled me back to the OR for a c-section, followed by an internal repair.  Of the words I listed in the beginning of this post, I did not feel my birth was any of them.  It took a while to process everything that had happened during the birth of my baby girl, but I did a lot of external processing with friends and gradually was able to accept it as our own unique story.

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Dean’s Traumatic Birth

Fast-forward almost two years as I’m getting ready to delivery our rainbow baby, I had built this birth up to be my redemptive VBAC.  I had spent the last year preparing for this, with weekly Webster Chiropractic visits and pelvic floor therapy, implementing Spinning Babies balancing practices, hiring my favorite doula, and doing mental preparation with prayer and positive affirmations.  I knew that I had a small pelvis but did everything I could to avoid another major abdominal surgery.  Everything started out absolutely dreamy, just as I had been imagining, but the same issues I had with my daughter’s birth began to arise, and I knew that a c-section was probably in our very near future.  However, the fighter that I am wasn’t going to go down easy, so I asked for an epidural in the room to be able to give pushing one last shot.  This was my last chance to ever be able to have a vaginal birth with any baby.  But long story short, some negligent care turned my “redemptive birth” into an emergency c-section and left me with a whole slew of physical, mental, and emotional problems.

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The Aftermath

I was so unwell that my husband was basically a single dad for the first two months of our baby’s life.  I suffered from birth trauma, lingering medical issues from the poor care, bonding issues with my baby, postpartum depression and anxiety, and feeding issues.  Things got so bad that we had to drop my two year old off at a relative’s house for a while because it was unhealthy for her to see her momma in such a bad state.  I was experiencing intense, debilitating anger directed towards my birth team (besides my incredible doula!) while grieving the loss of my redemptive birth and ability to ever have a vaginal delivery.  I was unable to ever breastfeed and we spend almost every day for the first few months at different doctor appointments.  I remember feeling like an absolute monster because when I looked at my baby, I felt nothing.  There were even days when my perinatal mental illness directed my anger at my baby, making me think, “You are the reason I feel this way, and the reason I can’t even be a good mom to my toddler right now.”  It was one of the scariest experiences of my life.  I was completely going through the motions as a mother and wife and hated my whole self- body, mind, and spirit- for failing me and my family.  There was a part of me that knew from a logical lens that this season would not last forever, but gosh, that part was completely enveloped by despair most days.

Picking up the Broken Pieces

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When I reflect back on those early months, it is honestly a blur.  I felt robbed of the joy of having a newborn, of my maternity leave, and of the entire fourth trimester.  I felt much jealousy towards women who had beautiful vaginal births and who could breastfeed and bond with their newborns as much as they wanted.  I was angry for so long, feeling like my dream birth experience was stollen from me.  I had nightmares about my birth, racing thoughts reliving the traumatic events day and night, and PTSD flashbacks from having been a helpless party watching negligent care happen to me.  I will never forget the feeling of utter desperation I felt when listening to my baby’s heart tones drop down to 50/60 beats per minute but not being able to do a darn thing about it.  I was unable to move, breath, or talk while my blood pressure was bottomed out to 50/30 – all from the anesthesia – in the terrifying moments leading up to our emergency cesarean.  I felt like it was all a horrible dream, and I wanted so badly just to wake up and have a totally different story.  I could not talk about it without crying for many months.  I still cringe when I think about the place I was in for so long.  It brings almost a palpable pain to my momma heart.  I still worry that my kids will remember their momma sobbing and having anxiety attacks, but I trust that their young age and innocence will protect them from those memories, and that they have inherited some of my resilience.  I hardly have any pictures of my baby from those early months, and even less of me/us.  But maybe that’s a good thing.  I was unwell for about the first 7 months of my Dean’s life, but my baby is 10 months old today, and I finally feel like:

“I MADE IT.  WE MADE IT.”

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Letting Go

There were countless times over those first 7 months that I asked God, “Why me?  You know I don’t ‘suffer well’ so why didn’t you give me easier deliveries?  This isn’t fair.”  I was angry with Him for allowing me to suffer so much, especially because my suffering directly affected my family.  I wasn’t able to be the mom/wife I wanted to be, or the mom/wife that my family deserved.  I wasn’t able to be a good friend, especially to those whose experiences I envied.  I had to say “no” to most things during that time, including play dates, church events, meal train sign-ups, and outings, which would make me feel guilty.  And I never knew if a good day would turn into a terrible without any warning and the thought of risking it was too much for me to handle.  In fact, most things felt like “too much.”  I didn’t know if I would ever understand why all of this happened to me in this lifetime.  BUT God put something on my heart that changed my whole perspective:

“God does not waste our suffering.”

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Finding Meaning in Suffering

I have been able to rewrite many “ANTs” (automatic negative thoughts) with this revelation.  It’s all making so much sense now.  My experiences have brought me an incredible amount of awareness, empathy, and compassion to a population that is pretty gaslit.  Now that I am on the “other side” of it, I can totally see a piece of God’s plan for my life.  With my professional and now personal experience in the world of birth trauma and perinatal mental health, I know that I can use my suffering to help others.  I can help be a voice for those who suffer silently and help bring awareness to the effects that these struggles have on women.  In my current line of work as a counselor at a pregnancy center, I pull from my experiences daily to help women.  I am even creating a FREE online postpartum education course that will have TONS of education and resources for women on everything postpartum, but especially birth trauma and perinatal mental health.  I can honestly say that I feel the best I have ever felt in my whole life.  I have peace, joy, and energy every day, and a love for my family that is so big it hurts.  Though I wish this season of happiness would last forever, I know that our lives are made of different seasons- easy and hard ones.  But it’s the tough ones that shape us and bring about truly beautiful things.  I was just talking to a mom friend who is currently in a difficult season and who was feeling guilty because she has to say “no” a lot and cannot make it to play dates and outings.  I felt for her because I was just in that season not too long ago.  I told her:

“We do what we can, when we can.”

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Having Patience with Myself

Sometimes it’s all we can do just to get food on the table.  Sometimes we can’t even do that and have to DoorDash meals and groceries.  But, eventually, we will be able to do more than we ever dreamed possible.  I am currently in a season where I can chase my dreams and make things happen.  But I haven’t been for very long, and I know I won’t be forever.  And that’s okay.  Because through all of this, I have learned to appreciate the suffering, as much as I can appreciate the good times.  Because it’s only through suffering that true beauty comes forth.

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Read more by Janean on her blog

Occupational Therapy and Perinatal Mental Health

By Mauly Her Lo
Trigger warning: brief mention of stillbirth

I found out I was pregnant exactly one month after I graduated with my master’s degree in occupational therapy. Beyond graduation, there were plans to study and take the National Board for Certification in Occupational Therapy and be employed full-time. Plans changed when I was filled with repetitive thoughts and fears of losing my pregnancy. 

“You can do anything when you put your mind to it.” A phrase that we often hear too much. You can be pregnant and study, take the boards, and apply for a full-time job. I (my mind) did not feel healthy enough to take on too much. Witnessing my mother go through depression, a sister’s ectopic pregnancy, and another sister’s placental abruption that led to stillbirth was something I knew I did not want to experience. Fortunate enough to have an occupational therapy and healthcare education background, (1) I knew the risk of having depression increased because of my family’s history and (2) I had some knowledge of how to broadly care for my mental health. 

What is Occupational Therapy?

You are probably wondering, “What is occupational therapy and how does it relate to perinatal mental health? Is it about getting a job?” Or maybe you know someone who had a stroke and had occupational therapy to work on dressing, feeding, bathing, and toileting skills and don’t know how it relates to perinatal mental health. 

The mosaic beauty of occupational therapy supports the physical, psychosocial, and mental well-being of every individual across the lifespan – from those who are not yet born to elderly adults. Occupational therapy uses a client-centered, holistic approach to empower and support individuals to regain independence in all areas of their lives. By taking into consideration the whole person and their strengths and abilities, occupational therapy also recognizes the need for both the body and mind as well as other factors (age, gender, cultural values, beliefs, environment, etc.) that influence their participation in meaningful activities. 

Simply put, occupational therapy uses meaningful and daily life activities to enhance engagement, participation, and health at home, in the community, at work, and in other settings.

Where does Occupational Therapy fit in with Perinatal Mental Health?

Being a first-time mother or having a new baby is a major life event. This significant role change impacts the habits and routines that have developed over time. A mother’s sense of identity begins to evolve, as well as their beliefs and expectations of being a mother. The transitions during the perinatal period can influence their self-esteem and self-confidence with:

  • Self-care activities: personal hygiene, sleep, nutrition, or sexual activity
  • Parenting/Caregiver activities: feeding (bottle/breast/pumping), changing, bathing, positioning/holding the baby, or playing with the baby, 
  • Daily activities: meal preparation and cleanup, household chores, shopping, or religious and spiritual expression
  • Play/Leisure/Social activities: family and friend relationships, sports, exercises, reading, or arts and crafts 
  • Work/Education activities: bending, lifting, sitting, standing, typing, or writing

Occupational therapy practitioners have the knowledge and experience to conduct screenings, assessments, and evaluations, deliver treatment and interventions, and measure progress and outcomes. Considering their strengths and abilities, daily routine and habits, motivation, interests, meaningful activities, and social supports, we can collaboratively establish individualized interventions and goals.

Perinatal PeriodExamples of Occupational Therapy Practitioner’s Role/Interventions
PrenatalMaternal mental health screening, preparing for a change in role, facilitating home modifications before arrival, pain prevention, education awareness for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, supporting groups for parents/caregivers
PostpartumMaternal mental health screening, postpartum recovery – personal hygiene after vaginal birth or Cesarean-section, enabling the development of healthy routines for themselves, functional and positional support during feeding, dressing, changing, lifting, and carrying the baby), breastfeeding support, supporting co-occupations between mother and newborn, self-regulation, and developmental milestones, returning to sexual activity, returning to work, supporting groups for parents/caregivers

Overall Benefits of Occupational Therapy in Perinatal Mental Health

With the support of an occupational therapy practitioner, mothers can 

  • Become more aware of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders,
  • Advocate for their health and well-being by identifying resources and community support,
  • Increase their self-esteem and self-confidence in their roles and abilities as a mother/caregiver, partner, worker, and/or student,
  • Establish a secure co-bonding relationship with their newborn,
  • Create a safe and healthy environment for themselves and their family, and provide grace for self-care, daily, play/leisure/social, and work/education activities

Through our holistic lens, we advocate and work on what matters to you, your health and well-being, and your family. 


Learn more about OT & Perinatal Mental Health! Join Mauly & MMHI for an Instagram Live on April 14th at 1:30 p.m.

On The Duxbury, Massachusetts Tragedy

Moms Mental Health Initiative is devastated to learn of the tragedy that occurred this week in Duxbury, Massachusetts. Our hearts break for the Clancy family as they navigate impossible grief following these events.

We’ve witnessed a robust conversation surrounding perinatal mental health following this tragedy, as Lindsay Clancy’s youngest child was eight-months-old. Social media posts and local media coverage reference perinatal mental health as a possible cause of these events. While we do not wish to speculate, nor are we familiar with the Clancy family’s situation, Moms Mental Health Initiative supports responsible discussions on perinatal mental health conditions. Furthermore, perinatal mental health is grossly under-supported and deserves more attention, education and resources.

What is Perinatal Mental Health?

Perinatal mental health conditions impact 1 in 5 mothers. “Perinatal” references the period of time from pregnancy through approximately 18 months postpartum, and is a high-risk time for mental health. While postpartum/perinatal depression is most commonly known, other conditions include perinatal anxiety, perinatal obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and, in the most severe cases, postpartum psychosis.

Learn more about perinatal mental health conditions

Postpartum Psychosis

Postpartum psychosis is an extremely rare manifestation of a perinatal mental health condition that separates a mother from reality and may include delusions and hallucinations (visual and auditory). This psychotic state makes her judgment irrational, believing these thoughts to be true (she doesn’t think anything is “wrong”). 70-100% of mothers experience intrusive thoughts- scary thoughts that may include harming themselves or their child. In these cases, a mother is not psychotic but rational in her judgment – she will feel embarrassed or terrified of these thoughts. Postpartum psychosis does not always lead to harm but is a psychiatric emergency in which the person deserves and needs immediate specialized treatment.

Perinatal mental health conditions may worsen if not treated and are the leading cause of death among perinatal women.

A Message to Moms: You Are Not Alone

To any mothers witnessing this discussion, suffering in silence, please know you are not alone. There is hope and there is help. In Southeast Wisconsin, Moms Mental Health Initiative connects moms to qualified providers with knowledge and experience with perinatal mental health conditions. Outside of the area, Postpartum Support International provides excellent resources.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, you can contact 911 or 988, the National Mental Health Crisis Hotline.

For non-emergency Maternal Mental Health Support, you can call 1-833-943-5746 to reach the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline operated by Postpartum Support International.

Postpartum Anxiety Happened So Quickly

Trigger warning: Suicidal thoughts and ideation 

Stock Image by Jenna Norman via Unsplash

My perfect little boy was born in January 2019. Nothing was unusual about my pregnancy except, perhaps, the fact I seemed to have it pretty easy. No morning sickness, no real physical discomfort or pregnancy related ailments, low weight gain, high energy, no complications. Labor was a bit of a different story – it was long, slow, complicated and, at the end, even scary. But then he was here and, to be honest, I forgot about the unpleasant details within days. 

I was lucky enough to have a generous, paid, twelve-week maternity leave from the law firm where I had recently made partner and, once we were home, it took a little time but we soon hit our stride. I figured out how to fill a day – the Today Show is a bit of a guilty pleasure, I enjoy working out, I was able to make plans with friends to maintain a sense of sanity and adult conversation, and it wasn’t too hard to change my pre-baby, twice daily walking routine with our Goldendoodle into a dog and stroller regime. Being at home was so different from my work life, but I tried to enjoy the downtime while it lasted, and for the most part, I succeeded. 

Anxiety Sets In- Quickly

My return to work was pretty seamless and easy. I eased in but was quickly back to my pre-baby stride. I felt like I was making it as a young professional, wife and new mom. I can’t tell you the exact date things changed, but it happened so quickly. I remember feeling stressed (and now I know, anxious) when my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary. The week leading up to that dinner I had reached out to some of my senior colleagues in the same practice group to express a willingness to take on additional work – the return-to-work buzz had sort of faded, and my plate wasn’t quite full, which any professional who has to bill someone else for their time knows isn’t a great thing. I got a positive response and plenty of cases in my practice area needed staffing. My excitement quickly turned to apprehension when I realized some of these cases were a bit different than most I had handled before. I spoke up and asked for support from my colleagues and, again, received a positive response. But, the first of many irrational or pathological anxieties had begun and they were starting to fester. 

My husband was concerned enough by my anxiety to suggest I talk to someone. Thankfully, I was able to snag an appointment with a psychologist’s graduate student the very next morning. I went, hopeful I could learn something or that she could say or teach me something to help nip this anxiety in the bud. At the end of my appointment, I also met the perinatal specialist for a few minutes. We agreed I was having at least some postpartum anxiety and would benefit from additional treatment; however, I also learned the perinatal specialist had a pretty significant wait period before I’d be able to see her again. Her perinatal psychiatrist counterpart had the same wait period. So, if I needed medication, I’d probably have to wait on that too. I left the appointment down, but feeling a little lighter and more hopeful. I had taken a step, what else could I do? 

By the time I got to work that day, my hopefulness had faded, and I was even more anxious than before. “I don’t know how to do this…How can I learn these things?…What if I make a mistake?” By the next day, I could not escape the anxiety and it had sky-rocketed. I had trouble concentrating on work long enough to get anything done. By mid-day, I was shooting out panicked texts to my husband and best friend. Feeling terrified, I told my office managing partner I was struggling with some postpartum issues and needed a day or two off work. He was surprised, but supportive, telling me to work it out with HR and let him know what I needed to make it happen. With a quick call to HR, I found I had more paid medical leave available and learned what I needed to do. I made a list of my cases, short-term case tasks and deadlines and I left, praying no one would see or talk to me. What would I tell them? 

Driving home, I was in a daze. On a whim, I called a friend who urged me to call my OB and suggested that OBs can often see women who are struggling with postpartum and get them started with treatment. I promised to call the next morning. I got home, and my very supportive mother-in-law greeted me and offered her support. I felt so appreciative, but I also felt ashamed for the first of many times. People have babies and are successful at work all the time, I thought. What’s wrong with me? 

The next morning I woke up with a pit in my stomach thinking I made a mistake by taking time off and might have even ruined my career. I called my OB’s office. She was off that day, but I spoke to a nurse who contacted the on-call OB. Within an hour, I had an appointment with him for later that morning. He listened to my story and agreed it sounded like postpartum anxiety and depression. He prescribed a standard antidepressant and suggested I take two to three weeks off work, if that was an option for me, to give the medication time to work. “You’ll get back to yourself,” he assured me. Relieved, I headed home, armed with a plan. The relief was fleeting, though. How could I take more time off?

I was hardly able to function

Unfortunately, things got worse. I was lucky that my mom and mother-in-law were at our house and able to help because I was hardly able to function. I had my first appointment with the perinatal psychologist late that week, and she honed in on my irrational thoughts and gave me some reframing exercises – a facet of cognitive behavioral therapy – to work on. I felt better leaving the appointment but that hope barely lasted the drive home. What I was feeling felt so overwhelming and chaotic that it was hard to believe it when those I loved and my healthcare providers told me that things would get better. I couldn’t believe them. My next vivid memory is experiencing my first suicidal thoughts. I was so sure that everyone could see the anguish I was feeling. How could life be moving as normal? Doesn’t everyone see that I’m about to explode, that I’m hurting? Time passed and I started having trouble sleeping. 

I woke up after the weekend hoping and praying for relief. I had asked for two weeks off, and this was week two. I could focus on myself this week and on getting better. I could go back to work next Monday. But, my hopeful plan didn’t even last that day. I contacted the psychiatric hospital that had been recommended to see what sort of outpatient groups they offered, and I “failed” the intake process for outpatient therapy. This meant I was sent to the psychiatric hospital for evaluation, where I admitted to the providers and to my husband that I had begun to develop a suicidal plan that day. 

Admitted to the Psychiatric Hospital With Postpartum Anxiety & Suicidal Thoughts

I was admitted for the standard three days, which I know now wasn’t enough. But, the minute I got there, I realized that I had to say whatever they wanted to get out. Most of what I felt inpatient was shame. The women I was with were dealing with some horrific issues and circumstances, and I was sad, anxious and suicidal five months after having a baby. I couldn’t come to terms with it. I participated in my individual and group therapy sessions, but there was no true breakthrough. I was scared, and I was numb. 

By the end of the three days, I realized I’d have to lie or exaggerate the “betterness” I was feeling to be discharged. I know my husband knew it was too soon, but he trusted the experts who said I was ready. Unfortunately, it was enough for me to tell them I no longer had suicidal thoughts. I cycled through a few different psychiatrists and the various medications they were trying weren’t working, but I had to get out of there. I would have said anything.

The next step after inpatient was an intensive outpatient program (IOP), which I started the next day. I felt immediately that it wouldn’t help me, but what other choice did I have? My husband and I agreed I had to try. I had a lot of support but, if I’m honest, it was hard to take at the time. I didn’t feel like I deserved it. 

I alternated between pretending I was ok and being unable to pretend. I could hardly stand being with friends and trying to act normal. “Can’t you see I’m in pain?” was a constant refrain in my head but I didn’t feel like I even understood my own struggle, as raw and overwhelming as it was, so I didn’t expect that anyone else could either. Yet, all I wanted was for someone to help me – to save me from this anguish. One evening a few days later, I began to fear I had (and began obsessively researching) postpartum psychosis. While it didn’t seem to fit, I saw no other postpartum anxiety (PPA) stories like mine. I wasn’t worried about the baby. It was me, it was work, it was everything. 

I continued IOP going through the motions and feeling worse and worse. Soon, there was a plan in place for me to finish IOP and return to work on a reduced schedule so I could continue group therapy. I was part of the plan making, but I didn’t believe it could work. I didn’t know what else to do so I convinced myself I had to move forward. I completed my second and final week of IOP with the plan to go back to work the next Monday. The baby started daycare and he did great. I was embarrassed to meet his teachers and see the other moms. I felt like a fraud. If they only knew what was going on in my head. By Sunday, I was a wreck with the thought of going back to work. I actively considered and researched ways to commit suicide. 

Another Return to Work

Monday was horrible. I was almost childlike, refusing to go to work on my own and forcing my mom to drive me there, pick me up and take me to partial therapy that afternoon. I did my best to get through, but felt panic and doom almost every minute. I made it 15 days. The weekend before the 15th day, a close friend visited for the weekend. We sat down and talked about my work anxieties and how I could take small steps to get through them. We made a plan. I wanted so badly to be able to follow the plan the next day, but I didn’t believe it was possible. That Monday I sat in my office with the door closed for 15 hours, completing about 1 hour of work. My mind raced, but time crawled. My husband and friends finally convinced me I had to go home, and that I needed to take another leave.

Thankfully, I had an appointment the next morning with the original perinatal psychiatrist, returning to her after shifting to the psychiatric hospital and IOP program who were not perinatal specialists. She decided to try a very different medication, one that my mom had been on for thirty years to treat her obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). She told me she couldn’t accept what I’d told her about feeling hopeless and that, for this to get better, she needs me to have at least a small amount of hope that we can get through this with the right treatment.

Another Leave, A Glimmer of Hope & Healing

With the perinatal psychiatrist’s guidance, I was off work for a second leave, this time, fully removed from work (i.e. no email access) to allow myself time to heal. About a week into the new medicine, I had an appointment with the original perinatal psychologist. We made a plan involving cognitive reframing exercises and I committed to trying to practice the reframing exercises daily, maybe even hourly, over the next few weeks. I felt the smallest glimmer of hope again that night. While it still felt a bit like “faking it”, it was different. I believed her that maybe this could work. The next day I woke up and felt just the slightest bit better. I told my family and close friends, but I was scared to be hopeful. Could the new medicine be working? 

Over the next few weeks, I had regular visits with the perinatal psychologist and perinatal psychiatrist. Things were trending up and we were all hopeful. Of course, I was scared of being disappointed if I was not actually getting better. The final week before returning to work had a few roadblocks. It was tough, but I felt ok. My debilitating anxiety was starting to ease and everyday life was becoming more manageable. I had my final perinatal psychologist session before I was set to go back to work and I went in armed with a notebook. I told her my coping plan and went through all my reframing. She told me I was ready and I actually believed it that time. 

I was Ready, I was Better

I returned to work that Monday, and things were so much better. I followed the plan and it worked. That afternoon was my last day of group therapy, and we had a substitute. The substitute was one of the therapists I had had while I was inpatient, and it felt like I may have come full circle. Things fell into place at work and I continued regular visits with the perinatal specialists – psychiatrist and psychologist – for months, and I still take a low dose of the OCD medication that finally helped me. 

I’ve been back to work for over a year-and-a-half and all is well. There are even some days that I forget about what I went through. But, truthfully, I don’t want to forget. I’m hopeful that I’m a better mom, wife, family member, friend and even professional because of what I went through. I certainly don’t take anything for granted. I feel an amazing sense of gratitude for the resources and support I had in helping me through the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in my life. I’m also certain that whether you call it luck, God, or some other higher power, it played a huge role in me making it to the other side. The least I can do is share my story in an effort to pay it forward or help even one other woman in a way she may not even realize she needs. 

Help is available- click here to find the right resources for your healing journey

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